The Kidmin Carpetbag

I recently had a parent bring me a CD that a friend had produced of kid’s worship music.

“Oh,…. thanks!”  Insert half-hearted smile.

Have you ever said this, maybe way once or twice; or twenty times…

I opened this CD, put it in to play, and braced myself.  But, THIS time, WOW!  What a great CD!  This is scripture-based kid’s songs that parents will be able to listen to in the car without wanting to pull their hair out.  

This is what they have posted on their website:

The goal was simple:
“Let’s try to make an album that is as much word-for-word scripture as humanly possible…oh and let’s make it music that our kids will love to listen to…oh and let’s also make it music that we will be able to tolerate and maybe enjoy hearing over and over again for years to come…maybe this isn’t that simple after all.”

You can check out the site here!

Back to the parent who gave me the CD; he gave me two!  And I want to give one away AND let people know about this music.  So, here’s how you can win a copy.  Comment on this post for a chance to win and then, if you want to tweet about it, you can get an extra entry.  Tweet this:

“Fun music for your kids; that parents will like, too! Win a copy here: http://bit.ly/RXchR8 #kidmin”

We will draw a winner next Monday, Nov. 19!

All the speakers at CM Leaders Conference were fantastic, and coming into it, I knew that everyone would have incredible wisdom and encouragement to share and they did.  But I’ve known Sam Luce for a couple of years now and he has a huge heart for children’s ministry and resourcing other leaders in our field that I knew his session would be outstanding.  And even though he’s from New York, he’s a really nice guy, so we don’t hold that against him…..

I was anxious to hear Sam speak and as he did, I was so deeply challenged.  Every time I read back over my notes, my heart is stirred.  These are great truths.  Some are hard to admit but once we do, we have the ability to recognize our shortfall, take steps to correct it, and grow stronger in our ministry and faith by having a heart more like our Father’s.  I think that is what I like best about Sam.  He has a heart so much like our Father’s.

His session was in the “Disciple” portion of the conference.  He brought a great perspective on how we view our volunteers and kids that are in our ministries. He compared how we parent to how we minister.  He has so much wisdom and truth to share, that I don’t think I can add any thought or comments.  Mine thoughts were on repeat; “That’s so true”  or “Ouch.  That’s me”     I think the best service I can do you, is to just post some of his words and let the Holy Spirit stir in you what He stirred in me last Friday.

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(Speaking of parenting) Your hope and dream and prayer is that they will do greater things than you ever did.  You want your kids to exceed you.  If this is true with our own children why doesn’t this always translate in the church?

(Within our ministry)  We have so many teachers but not many mothers.  It’s not about information alone.  We have that. What we need, what they need  is fathers. They need mothers.  People who will lay down their lives for the people we are leading.  The only way to release the leaders is if we treat them as our own kids.

(Some points that keep us from being the best leaders)

We transfer to ourselves glory that belongs to Christ.

If we build our ministry around us, we are setting them up for disappointment.

1.We want fans more than we want sons.

2. We get caught up in who gets the credit rather than who gets the glory.

Jesus wasn’t concern about his reputation.  He was concerned about doing the work of His Father.

3.  We get so caught up in our own kingdom, we forget it’s about building up Christ and His kingdom.

In 2 Samuel 15, Absolom built a monument to himself because he didn’t have any children to carry on his legacy.

I don’t want to be a leader that builds a monument to myself.  Every day I start, I have to ask God to help me to build into my sons and into my daughters.  I don’t want the message of the gospel to be contained within my lifetime.

I want the people God has put around me to outshine me, to be more passionate than me.

God is not as concerned with our success as our obedience.

God requires the same thing from all of us, obedience to the call of God He has put on our own lives.

We have to provide environments that allow people to fail.  Failure is what re-calibrates us to what matters.  Failure reminds us that we can’t do it on our own, we need God’s help.  We are sinners in need of a savior.  It helps you function out of a place of humility.

Everything that we are is because of the grace of Jesus.  As long as He is the goal of our life then everything will have purpose.

You have to give up what we like to build what we love. What God wants me to do is to be in love with Him.

It doesn’t matter that every kid knows me, but that they know that someone here loves them, some adult loves them.

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That was some of the points of Sam’s presentation.  Such heart issues to be addressed!  I have a couple of these that are in my prayer journal now.  If you don’t all ready do so, you can follow Sam’s blog here for ongoing wisdom and resources.

The second of the three “arts” that the CM Leader’s conference spotlighted was “Leading”.  Anyone who has read Brian’s book “I Blew It”, would expect that his session at the conference would be great, knowing how willing he is to share his experiences in leading from the past.  And they would be right.  If you haven’t read his book, you can get it here.  And be sure to check out his High Voltage Curriculum here.  And, of course, you should follow his blog here and his tweets here.

Brian spoke on the reluctancy that many of us in children’s ministry have to lead in our own ability.   In his opening, he pointed out that duplication is easier than innovation.  We chase other ideas instead of praying and asking God for what He has for our ministry.  Often people will say, “I’m just not a creative person” and  they sell themselves short.  We allow fear to dominate our heart and prevent us from stepping into what God has for us.

( I loved this term that Brian introduced)

Kidminnovator – Someone whose heart and mind is open enough to allow God to birth something in them that will change their community.

Here are 10 qualities of a Kidminnovator:

1.  Kidminnovators question everything.

2.  Kidminnovators look everywhere for ideas and inspiration.

3.  Kidminnovators are bored by duplication.

4.  Kidminnovators take more criticism.

5.  Kidminnovators make more mistakes.

6.  Kidminnovators constantly are looking for clues in the culture.

7.  Kidminnovators value those that will tell them the hard truth.

8.  Kidminnovators need administrative people around them to help make ideas a reality.

9.  Kidminnovators are intensely driven.

10.  Kidnminnovators innovate from a desire to make a difference.

As Brian went through each of these “Kidminnovator” characteristics, I thought, “That’s so true” about each step.  Some of these come easily, almost naturally.  Some come from prayer and being intentional in our creativity.  Some are truth, we just hate to realize that it comes with the territory.

Which of these 10 characteristics resonates with you as you read this?  Is there one that you need to embrace? Is there one that you need encouragement to endure?  Is there one that jumps off the page and says, “This is YOU!!”?

Continue the conversation here; comment below!

It was fun getting to hear him speak and meeting him in person, along with his wife, Cherith.

I was really excited to hear Craig speak.  With his perspective from serving with the children’s ministry and currently,as the Director of Ministries at Lakewood Church, I knew he would have a wealth of experience to share with everyone at the CM Leaders Conference.  And I follow him on twitter and have a lot of respect for Craig in his creation of the Champion Clubs for children with special needs. You can find out more information about that ministry on his website:  connormoments.com.  Here’s some highlights from what he shared:

Craig shared four things we should develop to be good leaders:

 1. Develop Loyalty.

-Loyalty in people is surprising today.

-Often God will test our willingness to submit under authority before He gives authority.

-You have to be brave to be loyal.

Craig gave the example of David, who, even though he had been anointed to be the next king of Israel, refused to do anything to hurt King Saul, even though Saul had made numerous attempts on David’s life.

-You can’t have loyalty without grace and grace isn’t always logical.

-Loyalty says, “I’m going to be the one who privately will protect them from mistakes.”

-Loyalty is willing to sacrifice their own needs to meet the needs of leadership.

2. Develop Humility

-To develop humility, you need time with God.  My devotional time determines my emotional time.

-We search after good ideas when we need to search after God ideas.

-With a good idea, we say, “I wish I had thought of that!”

-With a God idea, we say, “I never would have thought of that.”

3.  Develop Unity

-Center your ministry around what your pastor’s vision is. Embrace it!

-This is a pitfall frustration:  Trying to get your leader to follow your vision instead of following your leader’s vision.

-Pride will hurt you more than any enemy ever could.

4. Develop Accountability

-You strengthen the person you serve under.  Just like an armor-bearer.  You are battle buddies.  They stand with you so that you can do the impossible.  Be that armor-bearer who:

-Respects their officer 

-Repel any attack, especially their back.

-Keep watch while their officer rests.

-Squelch rumors about their officers.

Craig’s session was as I expected; awesome.  He was equally challenging and encouraging.  Be sure to check out his website connermoments.com and follow him here on twitter:  @CraigJohnson5

Each of these four characteristics are vital to be successful as a leader of leaders. Does it feel like you are compromising your leadership when you embrace these?  Is there a way you keep check on these qualities in your own life?

One of the facts I have come to accept about my time at conferences is this:  

There is no way I am going to be able to process everything as quickly as the speakers can convey it!

I love conferences, and listening to passionate people share their heart for ministry, and especially, kid’s ministry.  But I have yet to attend the conference where I didn’t walk away feeling completely overwhelmed with the influx of dreams, convictions and processes that I would love to be able to act on immediately.  However, the entire conference situation means that I have been away from my regular schedule for at least a day or two, thus there will be catching up to do before new processes can be put in place.  It is so easy to let the fresh approach slip away, and finally be filed away with the conference notes, until time is available to processes it all.  Sometimes that extra time just doesn’t materialize.

And this was true for the CM Leaders Conference last week.  What a great time with other kidmin leaders, fellow-tweeters and phenomenal speakers.  One after another, the speakers shared from their experiences and their hearts on the necessity in kidmin for us to rise as leaders of leaders who will develop, lead and disciple those who serve with us, as well as ourselves.  So, my thought is that I will share with you each day, a bite-sized portion of what I heard at the conference.  I hope this will allow you to interact too.  If we process through this slowly, a little like sitting at Steak and Shake at midnight with our friends, we can take the wisdom that was shared, wrestle with the application to our own ministry and pray for wisdom as we step out in new directions.

We did have some great times of fellowship and networking between sessions.

The CM Leaders Conference is focusing on the three “leadership arts” that are present in children’s ministries that are thriving.  The first speakers addressed the art of Developing; both yourself and others that you lead.  As Michael Chanley opened this conference, he shared his perspective on why to do a conference like this as well as how it fits into the mission of INCM.   These are some of the thoughts he shared.  Over the next few days, I’ll be posting more from each session, as well as soliciting thought, questions and perspective from those of you who will be willing to participate.

(For Live Blogging check out Lindsey Whitney’s site here!)

Michael Chanley:  Gathering 1

–  Not only do people have different talents, their different life experiences cause them to express those talents differently.

–We learn by studying patterns.  Studying these patterns can lead to success in ministry.  Patterns lead to wisdom.

–Kids, at a very young age, follow the patterns set by their parents and leaders in a church.

–What are the bright spots from leaders that we can apply?  What can we learn from others to help us?

–These are the 3 areas we need to address:

1. We need to develop.  People rust out, we don’t burn out.

–How do you develop, maintain your walk with God?

2.  We lead

–We strive to be a leader of leaders.  Children’s ministries that are going places get this concept

3. Discipleship

–How do you make disciples and disciple makers themselves?

Look at the life of Moses:

He started with his personal walk with God: the burning bush

He went to lead others: taking Israel out of Egypt

He discipled them continually as they journeyed together.

Develop, Lead and Disciple:  These are the 3 arts that the conference will address over these next 2 days, and beyond as the conversation about these continue online and within our leadership teams when we return to our churches.

Your thoughts?  Which of these areas Develop, Lead or Disciple is the most difficult/challenging for you in your current ministry?  Is there one of these that is naturally easier?  Does the giftings God has placed in you make you excel in one?

It’s here!  Well, almost.  At least, I’m here.  I had a great day of travel and first impressions of Ohio as I arrived for the CM Leaders Conference that begins tomorrow.  I have gone on and on about how excited I was for this conference.  Starting tomorrow, I’ll be blogging about each day and each of the “Arts” that I’ve posted about previously here.  INCM is a fantastic organization, and if you aren’t all ready familiar with them, here’s a few links you might want to check out to put what they are sharing over the next couple of days into perspective.

This is the link to INCM.org   or the International Network of Children’s Ministry

Michael Chanley is the president of INCM.  You may know him from some of his previous “dabblings” into Children’s Ministry resourcing….a little book called Collaborate (which totally rocked my #kidmin world) and this networking resource called CMConnect.org, a small gathering of over 9,000 children’s ministry leaders and volunteers.

You can check out Michael’s blog here.  MichaelChanley.com

My goal for the next 2 days is to share as much of what is happening here with you.  You can catch blogs here, and

–random tweets at @barbaragraves

–Facebook comments here:  http://www.facebook.com/barbara.graves.56

–pictures on Instagram:  BarbaraGraves

Follow along and join in.  Just because you’re not in the room doesn’t mean you can’t be in the conversation!  Add you comments and let’s all share, learn and grow!

Enjoyed my time being closer to God on my way to Ohio!

Thanks to everyone who commented and tweeted about the upcoming CM Leaders Conference!!  And the winner is…..

Frank Tan!!!

Congrats, Frank!! Watch for an email with the details of your winnings!!

Two weeks from tomorrow I will be in Ohio for the first time in my life!  I am getting more and more excited every day!  There are going to be so many great opportunities at this conference to learn, to share and to network with other leaders so that the conversations can continue even after the conference itself is over.  I have all ready shared here about how excited I am to go, and a personal bucket list event, to meet Wayne Stocks in person!  And I shared here about the first of the 3 “Arts” that the conference is going to help us all with.  This post is about the second or those arts:  Leading.

I have been a children’s ministries leader for over 30 years.  Some of those years I have been a good leader.  Some of those years, especially early on, I have  been a not-so-good leader.  But here’s a fact that I have learned.  The longer I lead, the more I realize how much more there is to know about being effective as a leader.  And some of the most difficult tasks of being a leader will addressed:

Casting vision:  Helping those you lead understand and share the vision God has given you for ministry.

Creating strategy:  My personal tendencies often look much more like crisis management than purposeful strategy.

Navigating change:   Some love it, some hate it, but change is inevitable if you grow.

I am so excited to hear the wisdom of these speakers in these critical areas of leading;  Mike Adams, Brian Dollar, Margaret Feinberg, Phil Vischer,  Sm Luce and more.

If you haven’t all ready registered, you can do that here:  AND, you can register for 50% off, only $99,  if you use the code barbaragraves as your promo code when you register!

AND, during these posts about the 3 Arts of this conference, I am running a little contest to give away a free registration!  Just comment below about why you want to go, or what is difficult for you about leading, or just say “Hey!” and I’ll put your name in the hat for a random drawing at the end of the posts, August 31.  And you can get an extra entry, by tweeting the following;

Look who’s going to #CMLeaders Conference & gets to meet @stocksohio in person- @barbaragraves! You can too! http://bit.ly/O5D2AM #kidmin